#82 Gender Equality at Home- What do you think?

Today's generation understands the need to blur the boundaries drawn around them when it comes to living life or home chores. Let's explore new concepts of gender equality or be a house husband!

The other day this week, we were out for a corporate team dinner and having a great time. Like I said I am a recent re-joiner back in my previous organisation, the conversation of marriage popped up and somehow the discussion turned into the gender equality and house husband as a concept. Imagine a team of 6 folks out of which only 2 are women, and the question is ‘whether we would be okay with a house husband?’

Well, what do you guys think? Would you be okay if tomorrow your spouse comes up and say, hey! I don’t want to work any further or take a break from work and be at home. Or, your future husbands (for single women) dreams to be at home and taking care of kids while he encourages you to be at work, earning the livelihood (bit more dramatic but yeah you got the context). Also, think would you feel since your better half is a male and is at home, you would find him bit less attractive and manly or would you respect him the same way you used to do while they were a working individual like you.

Before I delve into today’s blog and dissect my thoughts, my bosses were quite excited by the concept but in retrospect they think they wouldn’t have excelled as their spouses have or maybe they have never thought of this concept as an option that hard to learn and excel. Another boss who is in his late thirties, said he would love to take a break from work (though he loves what he does) and be a contributor to her wife. But, the thought of never be back at work did scare him as work is still a major part of his day and give him that happy kick. Imagine he was scared of thinking it even as a possibility and women generation has been happily living such a life for ages now.

Do you think now is the time to change that?

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Am I inspired by this concept because it was portrayed in a Bollywood movie ‘Ki & Ka’? Maybe yes, but it is practical also in my opinion of course with some tweaks here and there. That movie did give us a list of pros and cons that a couple might encounter who plan to live this life and my belief is if two people are finding their happiness in switching so called ‘ home roles’ then be it.

Why we see this concept as a mirage today?

Current generation is aiming to blur these role lines, and this concept indeed is speaking about a complete switch of the roles which needs time and is bit of a far fetched goal for now.

• We have always seen our mothers deriving their happiness by making good food and taking care of her children and fathers from earning enough money and spurring their business to run the house in the best way.

• They never realised that there are other options that exist and they have a choice. So, eventually they started excelling at their respective cores and who doesn’t like to do what they excel at? (Thanks to our societal upbringing, where women help and learn household work since a young age and men are allowed to sit in business deals)

• There is a clear demarcation that draws some clear work/ role boundaries around the individuals and they feel obligated to adhere to them

• Not plenty women had interest in running business (outside home runs) unless there is a dire need in the family

• Truth to be told, if I speak from an Indian lens, westernisation is on its’ way to home now and you will find young couples looking this concept as a logical step but not in other cities or generations yet. So, folks who are living this concept are surely staying away from home and in metro cities where they don’t feel like outliers.

Fact check for you guys! Contrary to a usual role set up, in North Eastern part of India, women are happy to run the businesses and men are happy to be their helping hands since ages and they are living by far happier lives than we in cities do.

Next, you may ask if everything has been running fine, then why this discussion around the concept and gender equality cropping up today. Thanks to the stupendous growth in our literacy rate, development in technology and our standard of living, our superior generation imparted us with good education and skills which made women community realise that they can also contribute to the economy beyond the household chores. Dreams, aspirations, willingness to create something new enhanced the thought process of an Indian women and you can see how they are contributing today to every nook and corner of the growing sectors.

So, What has changed?

Like every other corporate/ business folk, even women have 24 hours in a day, and they have started to realise that they can’t actively contribute on both fronts.

• They have started to seek help from their better halves which is a logical request, often argued by “You don’t need to work”

• They expect equal respect and support in their professional success as we do for their journey. “Behind every successful man, there is a woman”- Time to start using this in reverse also, and women want that to be true for them also

• As Internet has given us a sneak peek into everyone’s life today and this generation is quite well informed, women have started to feel that they have a choice and not each one will make the same choice as expected by the society at large

• From a men’s perspective, they have never/ less explored the option of not working on something everyday which they don’t enjoy enough, as they had a family to support/ run. This community is also feeling the need to be away from the rush of working 9-5 or keep thinking about money and family all the time and want to bridge the gap of actually being with the family not just one day but more.

• Male segment is also realising that they can have dreams of becoming something more other than just a working folk of the family and this liberation can only occur when their spouses start contributing and ensure that financed are well managed for both the parties to fulfil their respective dreams.

Now, comes the crucial deal, why are we talking about it when both the necessary parties are aware and in agreement for the need of the hour. Let’s keep it for the next week’s blog!

“The very fact that you are graduating, let alone that more women now graduate from college than men, is only possible because earlier generations of women—your mothers, your grandmothers, your aunts—shattered the myth that you couldn’t or shouldn’t be where you are.” 
~ Barack Obama, 44th U.S. President”

Till then let me know in the comments section what do you think about gender equality at home! Stay tuned for part 2 next week :)