#84 Never forget your ‘Dreams’…

Sometimes, we all need motivation to get going on our passion or dreams and keep it alive. Following them can be hard but not impossible, so keep trying!

Why is it always great to see a women acing in her field? Women are breaking all barriers with their thought of doing something in their lives and just not be at home. Well, women can do wonders from home also and they remarkably are making huge impact. Who doesn’t know the in famous chef: Tarla Dalal, who in her time aimed high and appeared on the cover of all possible magazines and possibly also a reason why few male chefs could don the territory by opening their restaurants and cafes.

This line re-triggered the thought, which I have presented in my last two blogs around the ‘Gender Equality at home’ also, that why some famous or top chefs are males. Nothing to do with the gender here, she has clarified the reason in one of her interviews which goes like: during her time, females didn’t use to step out of their homes after evenings due to multiple societal and personal reasons and hence, males have dominated that kitchen arena also. But now the world is opening up and we can see more women like her chasing back their love for kitchen at a national forum.

Well, today’s blog is dedicated to her and a small glimpse of her liife shown through the movie ‘Tarla’ currently streaming on Zee5 platform. Must watch if you guys haven’t, ofcourse after reading this blog. (don’t worry no spoilers :P). The narrative shown in the movie made me ponder on these points that I am sharing in this blog:

1. Dreams in an Air-tight container:

   Even today, a major portion of women don’t have a “I want to do something with my life” thought and a few who do face some hard third world problems/ battles while pursuing them (not talking about the women who are running households). This often make them pack their dreams in an air-tight container and put somewhere at the back of the kitchen.

   As human also, we are afraid to invest in our ideas no matter we are sure about the idea or not. When we dream about the future of our ideas, we see it as a big development or benefit but as the question of investment comes in, half of the dreams just fall apart.

   We all talk about overnight success or making it big, but very few take that first step of investment to actually make the idea come true. Many just stay with the thought of what if and a regret of maybe.

2. Give your best shot and you will never go wrong

   Actions matter more than the results but this logic goes haywire when the outcomes are unfavourable. Take a moment and assess that we have reverse our thought process and our actions are now dependent on what results would we get at the end of the day. Evaluating pros and cons is good but not to the extent that it becomes a hindrance for us to take our actions.

   Outcomes are temporary but the learnings gained in the process are permanent. So, we should focus on our efforts in our respective fields and let the outcome define our next steps. 

3. Human = Approval/ Validation Required

   We are living in the social media age where people share their happy moments but are afraid to share their lows. We think twice before putting up a story or a post and ran it through our close circle. Imagine, we could have done wonders if we have put these efforts in our work or building something new. Research and studies prove that women have more self imposter syndrome than men. Or, from a traditional perspective, I would quote it as women feel that they are the epitome of sacrifice/ adjustments or compromise at different point in time, as a societal norm.

   Vulnerability is an inherent part of every individual and it’s okay to seek validation at the lower points in your life. But, changing or reserving your thoughts or decisions might seem like a wise choice in short run but not in the long run. The world is fast today with more people than the chances one get, so if you let it go,be sure that someone else will pick and do wonders.

4. Perhaps, women also deserve a man who can support her dreams

   No, this is not a gender bias, but women are celebrated as the back runners and pillar of the success owned by men. The world is now opening doors for the women to take the similar route and they are stepping up but not every women gets the similar support pillars as they give. Still, there are limited celebrators of their success and those few clearly understand and respect their spouses with the same integrity as they expect for themselves. People might mock you initially (like Nalin’s boss) but eventually they will become your biggest fan.

   Few might ponder, why anyone need a support system at back to do wonders but we all need some cheerleaders and savious when we fall down or lay low during tough situations. And this guiding light is needed irrespective of the gender. So, lets make an effort to keep that light beaming for every individual and grow together.

5. One trigger is enough to make you question yourself

   No, not in a negative sense but we all get hit by one incident or some event just change us from within, I am calling such moments of realization as triggers and then can be positive or negative (based on outcome or how we take them). Like Nalin Dalal was moved by one comment that he gave up his career/ aspiration and turned into a publisher for his wife. He was happy and enjoying the process until an external force hit him and changed his mindset.

   We all make choices at every turning point of our lives. Triggers are important as they show us the external picture which eventually make us question ‘How you feel today’. We often forget to keep checking on ourselves in the rat race but these triggers will test you. The right deal would be to check on yourself and seek your directions and next steps from that question and not from the intention that trigger had. 

6. You must keep trying

   LIfe test us and our commitment specially when we are deaiing with more than usual days. That time becomes a testimony of how far can we reach ad wothstand the adverse situations. 1 run or a 6, you must keep the scoreboard ticking beacuse every ball counts and every run makes it a little tough for the competitors to score. If you give up, life will give up on you.

   Don’t just dream in an air-tight container and remember that one day you will open that lid to let your dreams fly. For that to happen, you have to keeping earning more rewards in terms of action you take everyday.

Folks, if you are thinking that the world has changed, I agree it is changing but that pace is still slow. Why? Because even today women are wired since childhood in the same fashion as they were in the last two decades. Few might quote it as an excuse, others might seek it as an opportunity to break free. Somehow, everything did boiled down to the gender roles and how we are perceiving and practicing them. We may be super modern to accept and appreciate the new changes but the duration or persistance to sustain the change is small. At the end of the day, it does become the elephant in the room.

Whatever be the future, I am happy that there is a small cent of population who are genuinely taking steps to devour and enjoy these changes, that in real sense are making it secured and open for all individuals to come and contribute not just to the economy but also add more flavours to their lives. Leaving you guys with two folks currently making me amazed with their dreams:

1. In my last workshop at an Institute, I met a middle aged lady (~50 years) who couldn;t pursue her bachelors due to her married life. Now that her family is settled, she wanted to pick up a full time student course in Phsychology but after her denial struggle for an year, she finally started her bachelors degree. She was so pumped up and happy that she is doing the course with the aim of helping students suffering with mental health issues

2. Another individual is my friend’s dad who is a renowned Professor in Ahmedabad and a single parent. He loves cooking and now he is determined to take his culinary skills to another level and we all will soon be witnessing the culmination of his efforts and dreams. (Can’t wait to meet him and learn from him in person next week)

All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ¡deal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision,that goal or purpose. ~ Brian Tracy

Sometimes you face difficulties not because you’re doing something wrong, but because you’re doing something right. ~Joel Osteen