Love is not just about being together; it’s much more…

Deep dive into a story of my favorite couple who taught us the real meaning of modern love <3

We all know that change is the real constant. Be it a professional field or personal dealing; if you refuse to change or aren’t open to adapting to the dynamic environment, things will turn bad.

Today, this article is not on any new professional skill or further learning. Instead, this article is on a topic that I am afraid of. It’s about love, which keeps on evolving with time and technology.

Handling a personal relationship isn’t easy, but an essential part of our lives. Take a moment and think about how you treat your relationship when it is equated with your work. Surprisingly, we don’t spend enough time connecting with our life partners compared to the time we spend on building our professional life. And, even if we make efforts, our attention and patience levels are so low that we don’t make such efforts count. I am not saying this is the case every time, but somewhere we all agree that in this rat-race and with an attempt to keep up our pace with the world around us, we all compromise on our personal lives, be it with parents or with our life partner.

Well, then it triggered to me how couples in earlier times used to be so happy and satisfied with their personal lives. They didn’t have phones or the technology to keep abreast of every small detail of their partner’s life. We are so hooked on our phones and remain anxious to receive a call or text from our partners; all this wasn’t possible back then. And while thinking of how an old age love would be, I got reminded of my granny’s story about her passion.

Granddad, during his young age, was building his business in Delhi and often used to stay back at the factory. My granny used to do her household chores, take care of her kids, and spend time with her paint colors. But together they used to go on trips and treks once a month and spend quality time with each other. Sounds like a usual story, right? But here’s the twist, as kids were growing up and getting busier with their lives; grand Dad got busier and occupied with his work and couldn’t give time to granny. But she wanted to explore the world; she had a desire to look around complete India. This thought started troubling her, and one day finally, she gathered her courage and told her desire to grand Dad. Like any other family thought, especially when patriarchy was at its peak, my sudden reaction in my mind was a denial. Women back then were not given so much freedom to explore and live by their own choices. They were bounded around the four walls of a home, and that’s the end of the world. And as I was building all this up in my head, granny smiled and said, “He understood me and agreed. He was the one who used to accompany me and drop me till the stations or the bus stands.” I felt a commotion of thunder in myself. Something which I may not expect out of my Dad was something that my grand Dad did. This bonding wasn’t a reflection of only love, but it was a reflection of sincere respect and care that one person deserves from their better half.

This was just one of the moments; there is more to connect they had as a couple. As they grew old, their ideologies stopped matching, and they lived separately in two rooms. And both of them didn’t like interference in one’s room, so they used to take care of it themselves. But my granny was smart: she placed the temple in his house so that every morning she gets a reason to enter his room. Also, whenever the Dad was out for a trip or some work, she used to sneak into his room, clean it, place his things in order and maintain it. But on the face of it, they were living happy lives in two separate rooms. It’s not like Dad didn’t appreciate her efforts; he used to complement her actions by equally taking care of her, He used to make morning and night teas for her, often used to cook food for her, and got her new sarees from wherever he traveled. As both of them grew older and relieved with their responsibilities, both started touring together to places. Are you also thinking about what popped up in my head while listening? If they are happy together, they travel and care for each other so much, then why did they stay away in two rooms. The answer is pretty simple: staying together doesn’t mean you have to be physically present with each other all the time; it’s about nurturing the emotional connection with love, care, trust, and space. Both of them had different lifestyles and were living happily. Why does love have to be always about compromising, why can’t it be about adjusting and respecting decisions? The way I see it is even in that generation, they were far ahead of the time, and that’s what made their relationship special.

It’s not like a hunky-dory relationship either. They had their share of fights, dilemmas, and tantrums, which was a common practice after an age. They had all those, and the funny part was granny never went to console Dad. It was always grand Dad coming to her, making her calm down and preparing her favorite food for her to see that smile on her face. Building this level of acceptance isn’t easy today. And maybe that’s why I say that their love story was too modern for that age to recognize and appreciate. But for me, they have set a couple goals.

Last bit on the modern-day love of our generation- It is always easier to fall for someone whom you think is the right match for you. But handling that relationship equally well is another story altogether. Try building this relationship with respect, independence, patience, attention, and nurture it with your love. Don’t give your attitude, ego, and individualistic appearance, undue space. I know we are regressed by today’s fast pace but believe that this bond requires time and is a slow process; just give in some time that it demands at the right time.

“Love is such a powerful force. It’s there for everyone to embrace-that kind of unconditional love for all of humankind. That is the kind of love that impels people to go into the community and try to change conditions for others, to take risks for what they believe in.” ~ Coretta Scott King