#75 Cliched things that are still ruling our society
Every country has its unique culture and way of functioning and India is a country known for its diverse culture and inclusivity. And when we say that, we assume that people here will be broad-minded, accepting the new lifestyles and open to change within the cultural limits we all individually abide by. We indeed have marked our progress since the Independence on the outlook and for external people to see and we still have a long way to go.
But what disheartens me is that we internally are not evolving. All individuals have to contribute similarly and with the same motivation and determination to make an overall impact. Today’s blog is to plug some cliched things that make us ask when will we get there. Some might quote these as the outlier events, and possibly they may be but based on my limited exposure to visiting different cities as a resident or as a tourist, I think we have to buck up to get there.
Gender Equality/ Neutrality-
It’s not just about acknowledging different genders that exist in our society, or some feminist lecture, it is a genuine feeling that just planning won’t make things better but implementing that change in our mindset and further translating them into actions would surely change the current scenario.Gender-based roles or division of work: We still think that women are home-runners and can only take proper care of an ideal home and their families.
There is a considerable chunk of Indian society who belong to family businesses and they believe their heirs will continue to run them. Well, this thought is still fine but these families still succumb to the fact that women shouldn’t be the earner, their better halves should get the money home and as a home-runner, your job is to ensure you make the best possible use of that and chill your life
Our clothes need to be put out of the gender label as well. If we pick up our history, our kings used to wear skirts and heavy suits loaded with pearls but you won’t find that in sight today. One of my dear friends is trying to break this barrier and bring this acceptability through his initiative #meninskirts (Kudos to Jainil Mehta and his work here)
The other day I bumped into a trans girl on the streets of Bangalore. She has completed her graduation and the community has asked her to just fetch some daily amount from people like us and pay to them. She sat with us and we offered her tea and realized that the road is still not easy for them. I suggested she pick some part-time job and start earning money in a legit way and surprisingly she said no one wants to offer her one and that just put me into a fix. Just creating laws and acceptability won’t uplift their lives until we actually show them through our actions as a whole.
Corporate Clubs
A major chunk of our population today is the younger generation focusing on building their business and careers. Some are running their start-ups and others are resorting to excel in the corporate world. Being a founder myself, I know finding the right talent is hard and it takes some serious effort to figure out the right fit for the work you are looking for. Yet we are blinded and hiding behind some old methods:
All organizations have a career portal and thanks to technology now, you can find the right talent through LinkedIn and multiple platforms, but we still prefer referrals from our old/ active employees to get the right talent in the organization.
There is a chunk of jobs where you have specifications regarding education and prior experience and that’s reasonable as well. But putting a condition on institute tier and likes only spurs the competition and put the calibre and potential out of the question
Concept of Marriage
Well, it’s a great tradition of finding the right life partners and living an impactful personal life. This relationship is meant to be consensual and both parties have to be happy about it and not stressed. But we have just glamourized some old facts in a new fashion which still are as useless as they used to be before.
Age is still a barrier- ‘No one will marry you once to turn 30’ and this is applicable only to girls.
The families still feel that only they have a right to find the right spouse or their kids through an arranged set-up where they feel the families match the set social and financial status. Well, that’s fine but isn’t love and compatibility between the two individuals required to form a marriage?
A woman is still expected to put her life, her dreams and her career to have a successful marriage. What’s more surprising is people of my age are still succumbing to this fact and are happy to live in this bar. The world is moving ahead and so are the people, but I think a woman is still running into similar circles.
Education System
To be honest, this is the most shocking thing I see whenever I meet a kid.
Things have changed and technology might have made some concepts redundant, they might be good to know but current and new concepts are also important to be taught, yet we are still teaching the same old curriculum at schools.
Not much has changed, neither the admission criteria for colleges nor the subject options and people are again trying to fit into the same set with limited options to explore.
The sports industry has seen a transformation but parents and teachers are still compelling students to be great at academics and sports is just a side activity. And yet when we see 1 in 1000 students outshine these societal norms, a wave of aspiration flows but doesn’t really translate into action
You might feel these are hell-cliched and things have changed. I agree they have but only for a very small chunk of the population. Everything might look very shining from the outside but we are still facing those junked norms and dealing with these thought processes. The real worry is half of the time, individuals don’t even know that they are just following some ridiculed societal norm without putting a thought to whether it makes sense or not.
My two cents on the topic:
We all have the right to question and unfollow what we think is not in line with our thinking. Also, we can improve this situation by giving our kids a free hand to make and break their own norms. We should be the guiding force but leave the execution to them based on what and how they think about a particular situation. Slowly, things are changing and we have to just spur that rate of change by changing our mindsets.
The other day I was speaking to my mom and realized that as we are changing, we are also shortening our life expectancy in terms of how many future generations we would be able to guide. Take a look at your parents or grandparents, currently, they are able to witness, at least three generations possibly due to early marriage or their way of life. But today, our generation would hardly be able to witness two generations and this change will actually put the societal norms at the backseat because, with each new generation in town, our level to the transition of norms and culture is reducing. Well, I would just hope that we become more acceptable and transparent in what we do and feel.
“Let’s not fall into the trap of conventions and habits and convince ourselves that the way we are consuming now is next to impossible to alter because of regulated options, economic limitations, cultural norms, accessibility, or whichever excuse we come up with. Let’s remember that just as it is momentarily the norm to mindlessly shop and consume, it could easily become the new norm not to; to radically reduce one’s consumption and to focus on the usage and aesthetic nourishment of the objects one owns and invests in. Something being the norm doesn’t mean that it is carved in stone. Norms are changeable. Not easily changeable, but nevertheless changeable. Cherishing, mending, and repairing one’s belongings could become the new normal.”― Kristine H. Harper, Anti-trend, Resilient Design and the Art of Sustainable Living