#90 When Anu Aunty said 'Tumse Na Ho Payega'

This movie currently streaming on Disney Hotstar platform is a complete package of emotions, career and laughter hitting hard on life aspects. Watch it now if you haven't :)

Whenever you try to do something different or something that’s beyond the normal course of living life, the first question that hits your mind is “ What will they say? (log kya kahenge?)” Perhaps, we have given so much importance to them that we have forgotten to think about us. Every walk of your life, you will find one Anu aunty (for professional crisis) and one Seema Aunty (for personal crisis) standing right there with perfect examples of you (read as competitors).

And in this race, we ignore what we want and focus on what they want from us. This movie re-opened those open but blindfolded eyes and made me question Why am I doing, whatever am I doing (More on this in next blog)

Below are some cool realizations from this masterpiece and here’s my take on them:

1. Social Media Says ‘All Good is in Hood’

   People fulfil their varied motives, some use it to show off their current mood or life happening to feel good or promote their business, while others use it to find out what’s going on in other’s lives and how they are living. There is a small portion of folks who use it to consume good content, take a break from their work or use it as a one-stop for recording their happy/ sad days or how were they feeling that day.

   Whatever the case may be, folks by design show their happy side but reserve their tough days/ feelings from the platform and this is their way of being strong. You can never figure out the real “you”. 
   It’s as good as answering ‘I am doing well’ to anyone who asks you ’How are you doing?’ and ranting just in front of your 2-3 close friends.

2. Society doesn't want you to grow

   I have always wondered why are we so prone to seek validation for our actions from others and not seeking validation is a life skill which you garner as you grow. This movie has answered that question quite clearly because we have a so-called ‘ society’ to prove and showcase that we are there. There’s always someone right at the corner doing better than you and mental competition just never ends in India. The outcome of your actions is bucketed by others and based on their understanding which adds no value but unwanted pressure.

   Right from childhood, we grow to compete with others and we forget to pick our competitions. Everyone talks about being better than him/ her whereas the real game is to be better than your yesterday’s self which is the right think to matter in the long run.

3. Define your Success and Failure Parameters

   In school, marks are used to define our intelligence and in corporate, our CTC figures define our growth. Well, this is nothing near to reality but just some easy (flawed) metrics put by society to ease out their decision-making criteria and tag you as successful or a failure.

   It’s time to take that control in your hands, pick your battles and problems that you want to solve and also define the metrics for yourself. Everyone has different points of view and priorities, respect those for yourself and for others. As Gaur Gopal Das says “Don’t prove but improve, that’s gonna help you build a happy life”

4. Friends = Count your problems or blessings, you decide

   Imagine any conversation with your friends or you take any of your problems to them, the first reaction is making fun of you or bombarding you with so many questions that start making you feel dizzy.

   I guess that's how true friends are, they show you the real mirror and doubt your skills/ confidence before they begin supporting you. FIghts, arguments, discussions and parties, all seem worth with them and they are your biggest cheerleaders in crisis time.

5. Small Steps and Big Wins

   It’s not always big moves that guarantee you big steps, the focus should be on moving a step further from where you were yesterday and that is what governs your success. Even Angela Duckworth through her book ‘Grit’ proved that talent remains stale unless you make efforts to find it and then put it to practice to convert that into a skill. The idea of you making efforts and everyday hustle is the biggest factor that contributes to your long-run win.

   We all fantasize about being a successful business owner or a start-up funder as if just getting the idea right is the only key thing required. Ideas are like a windfall and they keep crossing everyone’s mind as you grow, but only those who act upon them make a difference.

6. Take a U-Turn during setbacks

   We all face setbacks, make mistakes and let’s face it everything, every time can’t be hunky dory. During such testing time, we crave support and strong pillars to fall back on and restart where we left off. Just like Gaurav & Mal figured that they lost their business essence in the race of growing big or earning profits, there are moments when you realize that ‘This is not how we planned or something just went missing now”. Was it easy for them to give back the investor’s money and go almost bankrupt? Was it easy for Gaurav to restart the journey again from scratch?

   Difficult or easy, everything is defined by our minds and how we perceive it. Just like Gaurav, we need that bigger purpose to give it all over again. Restarting In-Conversation post a break wasn’t easy for me, and continuing to write a weekly blog, amid the work-life chaos isn’t easy and there are moments when you feel lazy about it. But this family's love and support and my sense of delivering to them is what matters and leaves me with a sense of satisfaction at the end of the day.

Which of these points struck a chord in your heart? Share your thoughts.